this particular letter and response will take up two pages.
I'm the mother of five and for the most part I have lucked out with my kids. None of them have been a part of a gang; have weird hairdos, body piercings or have been involved with alcohol or drugs. However, our one 17-year-old daughter has taken up smoking and it's breaking our hearts. We have lived through her being borderline anorexic in the past. With much counseling, she got over that hurdle and is doing great. However, she is so determined to be a part of the crowd and to do whatever her boyfriend does that she will follow whatever they are doing just to feel a part of the group. Unfortunately this includes smoking.
Her dad and I have both watched our parents suffer from the effects of smoking. My mom has bad lungs and will be on oxygen within the next five years. My husband's dad is already on oxygen and he can hardly stand, let alone walk without losing his breath. There are other family members that have suffered also from the effects of smoking. Our daughter's biological mother also smokes as well. Our daughter is very much aware of the dangers of this habit.
We have tried talking and pleading with her to stop. Her dad has even refused to let her go to her boyfriend's house because he knows she smokes while she's there. Threats and bribes are no good either. Should we continue with our talks with her or should we back off? I'm not sure what to do do at this point. I would be very grateful for your opinion on this.
Sincerely,
Very Anxious Mom
This is a very tough situation to be in and I am almost at a loss to provide any kind of useful advice. Aunt Nana is very much an anti-smoking crusader as far as anyone under the age of 18 is concerned. Adults are responsible for their own actions, including smoking. If they light up, in spite of knowing all the ill effects, then in my opinion, it's no one's fault but their own, regardless of recent court cases against tobacco companies to the contrary.
However...(please click here for the rest of Aunt Nana's response to this very serious subject...)
